Speed vs Self - compassion..
2017 is coming to end and while I am considering about how I spent the whole year I also find myself thinking of my journey on the way to become a coach. Obviously I cannot say that I initially planned my career of being a career coach and it was certainly not a conscious choice. It is more true to say that coaching career entered in my life just in the right time and then totally occupied it. I curiously started to fill my library shelves with the books on personal development and human psychology and then I intensively started to read them top to bottom.
However I must also admit that I have been reading more articles than books in the last 3 years. The reason I tend to read more articles is because they tend to be more up-to-date information as opposed to books. Yes, we live in the age of speed and adaptability. And with the years that it takes for an author to write one book, a lot changes within the world.
For those of us who like to make new year resolutions it would be better to slow down a little in order to make reflections on the last year and try to answer the questions below before we set new targets for the new year.
How much do I appreciate myself for my efforts that I have put forth this year?
Do I pat myself in the back? Or, do I judge myself according to the approval and criticism from the other people and outside world and get stuck in a constatnt loop regarding my relative concept of success and failure?
And most importantly who really am I?
The answer to the last question may sound simple and come out easily like, I am the founder of a firm, manager, employee, wife, father, mother, sibling, child, son, daughter and so on.. whereas it should be much deeper.
What are my values that made me?
How much can I project my values to my job?
How do I define myself?
What challenges have I faced today?
How have my challenges helped me develop?
What did I learn?
Who do I want to be?
Who is my personal hero/ role model?
What are my top 5 goals and priorities for life?
I believe that every question I invite you to think about will take you one step closer to the self-compassion you will give yourself however I also ask you to use your time wisely while you are answering them. Don’t rush to answer and take everything one step at a time.
In my individual coaching sessions, there is an exercise I often recommend to my clients. You are supposed to write about yourself for 10 minutes everyday without separating the pen from the paper. To empty everything that takes up space in your mind, without questioning and judging if they are meaningfull or not. It may look messy at the beginning but you will multiply your questions as you write them and this short period of time that you separate for yourself will multiply the self-compassion you deserve.
As Robin Sharma says, our minds do not approve of any transformation that our hearts and souls have not endorsed.
May 2018 bring you peace, health and happiness.